Next To The Chain Link Fence

This piece is the latest of my 'Chain Link' pictures.  My last drawing from this theme of bullying was 'In Front Of The Chain Link Fence'.  My discussions centred around the merciless bullying that I suffered from when I was a child and the chain link fence that I was bounced off by my bullies.  The school that I attended after I left Longsight was located in Northenden.  I suffered less from bullying at this school (except at the end just before I left).  The next challenge was starting secondary school at the age of 11.  Bullying was everywhere, the bus stop were I stood waiting for the bus to school, the way into school, lunch time, going home and so on.  Autism wasn't as well understood as it is now and high functioning autism was understood even less.  The whole experience of starting a new school in a new area (we moved from Northenden to West Didsbury so I could attend my secondary school), not knowing anybody at my new school, new routines, new everything.  It was very overwhelming, although I did not show it and did not communicate my feelings to anyone.  I've been called stoical by people in the past because I hide my real feelings and look calm when in reality I am struggling with everything.  I avoid asking for help and have always done that throughout my life.
 

Next To The Chain Link Fence, pen drawing and gouache painting, A2 (2016)

My escape from the turmoil of starting a new school and not knowing anyone was to retreat to my gran's house from Friday night until Sunday night.  I could forget about bullies, school, new routines etc until I went back home on Sunday. 

I've wondered sometimes whether people just know you are different by looking at you or whether it comes after you start to speak.  November 1986 I stood waiting for my bus to school in the morning.  A girl from another school would walk past each morning and call me names or laugh at me.  I don't know how she could tell that I was a good candidate for singling out, however I think bullies must have a sixth sense for it.  After several weeks of name calling and other objectionable behaviour she spent one morning gathering a large crowd of friends near the bus stop that I was stood at.  When she felt she had enough 'support' she came over to me and without warning punched me in the face.  I was pretty devastated (and late for school).  I think that day changed my response to bullies, which became a lot more proactive, although it didn't stop them trying to bully. I've talked to other autistic people and their experience of school is the same.  My hope is that when my daughter begins secondary school there will be the support necessary for her.