The Chain Link Fence (Perception)

My thoughts behind this latest Chain Link Fence themed art work are based on perception.  As with my other Chain Link Fence works, the subject of bullying is central however rather than simply looking at bullying done to me (or to anyone) I look at the part played by the victim of bullying in the process of being bullied.  Generally people have perceptions about other people, situations, places or events.  Often the perception is biased and based on previous experiences that a person may have had in their life such as perceiving hot spicy food to be good because it is something that the person grew up with and therefore familiar with.  I suppose perceptions can also get mixed up with prejudice (to prejudge without knowing the person).  Prejudice is based on past experience in a similar way to perception.  The difference with perception is that although it comes from past life experiences, it is a unique individual way of looking at life which may differ from another individual.  I have perceived a situation to be more positive than it was or even to let my wishful thinking get in the way of seeing reality.  At one place of work I sensed the under hand bullying that I was subject to (being told not to go for a promotion because someone else was meant for it, told that there had never been anyone in the department like me before in a critical way and so on).  There was enough said for a feeling of discomfort and sense that this was wrong, yet my perception or wishful thinking kept over riding my gut feeling that some thing was wrong.  I hoped that things would get better over time and basically allowed an overly positive perception of how my situation in this work place could improve over time.  Things had got better over time in the past, why not now?  This led to 7 years of workplace bullying that progressively worsened and only stopped when I left.  Perception is a good thing as long as you are honest with yourself, however ignoring reality is dangerous for anyone. Socrates the late 5th century BC philosopher described the man who believes he knows the most actually knows the least and the man who says he knows the least is the wisest of men. 

The Chain Link Fence (Perception), pen drawing and gouache painting, A2 (2016)

This drawing/painting uses the Chain Link Fence as a back drop.  I suppose different people will perceive different things in the drawing/painting.

Next To The Chain Link Fence

This piece is the latest of my 'Chain Link' pictures.  My last drawing from this theme of bullying was 'In Front Of The Chain Link Fence'.  My discussions centred around the merciless bullying that I suffered from when I was a child and the chain link fence that I was bounced off by my bullies.  The school that I attended after I left Longsight was located in Northenden.  I suffered less from bullying at this school (except at the end just before I left).  The next challenge was starting secondary school at the age of 11.  Bullying was everywhere, the bus stop were I stood waiting for the bus to school, the way into school, lunch time, going home and so on.  Autism wasn't as well understood as it is now and high functioning autism was understood even less.  The whole experience of starting a new school in a new area (we moved from Northenden to West Didsbury so I could attend my secondary school), not knowing anybody at my new school, new routines, new everything.  It was very overwhelming, although I did not show it and did not communicate my feelings to anyone.  I've been called stoical by people in the past because I hide my real feelings and look calm when in reality I am struggling with everything.  I avoid asking for help and have always done that throughout my life.
 

Next To The Chain Link Fence, pen drawing and gouache painting, A2 (2016)

My escape from the turmoil of starting a new school and not knowing anyone was to retreat to my gran's house from Friday night until Sunday night.  I could forget about bullies, school, new routines etc until I went back home on Sunday. 

I've wondered sometimes whether people just know you are different by looking at you or whether it comes after you start to speak.  November 1986 I stood waiting for my bus to school in the morning.  A girl from another school would walk past each morning and call me names or laugh at me.  I don't know how she could tell that I was a good candidate for singling out, however I think bullies must have a sixth sense for it.  After several weeks of name calling and other objectionable behaviour she spent one morning gathering a large crowd of friends near the bus stop that I was stood at.  When she felt she had enough 'support' she came over to me and without warning punched me in the face.  I was pretty devastated (and late for school).  I think that day changed my response to bullies, which became a lot more proactive, although it didn't stop them trying to bully. I've talked to other autistic people and their experience of school is the same.  My hope is that when my daughter begins secondary school there will be the support necessary for her.

Identity Exhibition

I've just come home from the preview to the Identity exhibition at  Art with a Heart in Altrincham.  There was a wide range of art on offer including film.  The exhibition explores the theme of identity and how this can be expressed in art work.

Here is my offering with two of my drawings 'Behind The Chain Link Fence (left) and Water Reflections At Mourtzakis (right)!



 

 



The exhibition poster.

 



Passage Of Time

This is the latest work that is based on my 'Girl' themed art.  This project started at the end of 2013 with a series of drawings and paintings based on the face of a girl otherwise known as me in 1979.  I think back to my childhood a lot these days because I find it unsettling how long ago it was.  Time really has flown and changed.  I see films made at the end of the 1970s and I think about life then.  It was another world.  I suppose that is what happens when one gets older (and older).  I was born in Portsmouth and came up to Manchester in 1977.  I have a very good long term memory (not very good short term) which means that I remember clearly moving from Portsmouth to Longsight in Manchester.  I did not want to move 'up north' because I had images in my mind of two up two down rows of depressing terraced houses and dirty back alleys.  Longsight fulfilled all of my worst nightmares and more.  The area still suffered from thick smogs because it was still very industrial and near the centre of Manchester which was full of working mills.  On smog days one would stand outside with a scarf wrapped around my face (so that the particles from the pollution weren't breathed in).  I remember putting my hand out in front of me and it disappeared into the smog.  I couldn't see my feet.  On one occasion I and many other children stayed late into the evening at our nursery long after we should have been picked up by our carers because the smog was so thick the buses had been cancelled due to the lack of visibility.  Times have changed in that regard for the better.  This drawing has developed from my earlier drawing 'Girl' (2014).  I have been using fine line pens with coloured pencil and/or gouache paint more and more recently.  I thought it would be interesting to use these materials to revisit the theme of 'Girl' and see how I have developed or not in the two years since my earlier drawing.  I've focussed on a different section of the face in this latest drawing, with some more of the face shown (rather than just half of it as can be seen in 'Girl').

Passage Of Time, pen drawing and coloured pencil, A2 (2016)

 

Here is my earlier drawing from two years ago.

 

 



 

Girl, charcoal drawing, A1 (2014)



Anniversary Acer

Here is another one of my A5 size pen drawings.  I hope to do many more of these pictures.  The Acer in this drawing currently grows in our very small back garden at Autumn time.  I brought it for my husband in 2004 for our 1st wedding anniversary present.  We lived together for 10 years and finally decided to get married as a 10th anniversary celebration.  We now have two anniversaries each year, one that started in 1993 and one that started in 2003, both of which are in May.  The Acer has moved house with us twice and will probably continue to move with us as we move house.  It has lived in it's present situation since 2006 and is about 12 feet tall, somewhat larger than the size it was when it was bought.  I like plants such as Acers as a present because they grow with you. 

Anniversary Acer, fine line drawing and coloured pencil A5 (2016)

Section From The Temple Of Olympian Zeus 2013

This painting is based on a section of the temple of Olympian Zeus in Athens.  I've obviously added 'artistic license' because I wanted there to be more emphasis on colour.  This temple was the largest in Greece at the time that it was completed (during the reign of the Roman Emperor Hadrian c. AD 120).  It took over 600 years to be built and less than 200 years after its completion it was ransacked by a barbarian invasion of Athens.  Christianity became popular across the Mediterranean during these times.  When Christianity became the main religion of the Roman Empire (approximately AD 330) there was no use for a temple that was dedicated to the king of the Polytheistic gods.


Section From The Temple Of Olympian Zeus 2013, oil painting on canvas (80x50cm)

 

Yellow Flower

This is another Walkden Gardens inspired drawing.  I like capturing detail in my art work, especially in my drawings.  Working with smaller pieces is quite different to my larger drawings, because although the area to be covered is so much smaller, it also means a greater amount of detail in a small space.  I will continue with the smaller drawings and try to accumulate a larger number for next year for an exhibition.  I think they could look quite interesting when exhibited together.

Yellow Flower, fine line pen and coloured pencil drawing, A5 (2015)